for the record

it is eight months before my wedding day and i have not made my wedding planner cry hot tears of humiliation or stabbed a florist in the neck with a corsage pin. i have not whined, wheedled, or wailed to my groom about emergency projector bulbs or additional guests. i do not murmur “pew cards” or “amplified music and extra lighting” in my sleep. i do not have the guest list memorized. i do not plan to be bridezilla and though we have learned that there are really no “sure things” when it comes to planning this wedding, i intend to make this one a guarantee.